There are no set requirements about what a particular service should be like.

Every individual and every family is different so, if there are no instructions, it’s important to think about the kind of funeral that feels right to you for the person who’s died.

Many people are not particularly religious and, if you choose a service in a church, it does not have to be very formal. Services in a crematorium can be carried out by your own vicar or chaplain and can focus on celebrating a person’s life, rather than mourning their death.

Talk to the person, clergy or otherwise, who will conduct the service and to the funeral director to ensure it will feel personal and be an authentic reflection of your wishes.

Options you may think about for the service could include asking a relative or friend to tell the story of the person’s life or asking friends to share their special memories.

There are many other ways to personalise the funeral too and, indeed, many other choices to be made.

  • Do you want flowers and, if so, what type and how many? Will others bring or donate flowers and what happens to them after the service?
  • What hymns or music will be played?
  • Will you have formal invitations and, if so, what will they look like, what type of card will they be printed on and how will they be delivered?
  • Will there be a procession to or from the venue? Will you need pall bearers and, if so, who will they be?
  • Which casket or coffin will you choose – and do you want a headstone or statue?

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